Recovery

I would like to share an insight. In some ways, my life for the first two years after coming to the Lord was like an alcoholic’s, trying to recover from a powerful addiction. I lived from day to day. I was in a battle with myself. Satan attacked me relentlessly. I believe the longer one practices any sin, the more difficult it is to turn away from it. I also believe it is likely for some, if not most, gay men that our sexual orientation may only be changed by some degree.

At this point in my journey I have changed significantly; however not to the point where I feel I could take on a wife. My experience is that after four years it is much easier to resist temptation. I feel almost satisfied with my celibate life. Praise God! This wonderful healing comes from Him!

I would like to issue a warning to anyone considering experimenting with gay sex: Don’t do it! Homosexual sex, like nothing else, creates a powerful, ensnaring web. It is almost impossible to walk away from it. I believe it would be impossible without the help of God. Like no other sin, homosexual behavior traps you. For me, it took a supernatural dream from the Lord to shake me up and make me realize that what I was doing was wrong. On some level, the devil had deceived me. Praise God that He rescues us even when we don’t know we need rescuing!

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This story was first published on the GLOW website in 1998. This is a slightly edited 2010 version. For the rest of the original story see Homosexual Politics.