We had no sex education classes in school and the church and the family never talked about it. So I just assumed that if I got married and had enough sex with my wife, these feelings would go away.

As you know, “that ain’t the case”.

After 25 years of what I call a fairly good marriage with three kids in college, I still couldn’t figure out why I was still drawn to men. When I started going through the mid-life crisis, I became very discouraged and started experimenting rather than just thinking about it.

As the Bible says, first comes lust, then the act. One thing led to another, and I finally just gave up trying. In a nutshell, I was found out, fired, lost my house, wife, and everything else that I had been used to, or cared about, almost overnight.

My wife, (whom I had told about my same sex attraction before we got married) decided to get remarried in about a year after our divorce. Then while singing with the Seattle Gay Men’s chorus who were on tour in Washington, D.C., and NYC, I met a man who was to become my lover, partner, significant other, or what ever you want to call it for the next thirteen years.

I lived with him from 1984-1996. I had everything the world had to offer. Cars, houses, money, clothes, European holidays, you name it. All this came along with popularity, parties, and the social life of fun and excitement. And I came out with a vengeance! There wasn’t a gay bar, back room, cruising area, (inside or out, U.S or Europe) that I didn’t want to experience. Everything that the gay world had to offer, I was game to try, and that included some things I won’t even mention.

I’m not telling you this to pique you curiosity, but to let you know that I’ve “been there and done that.” I had everything the world had to offer, but one thing, and that was peace. I had never taken a drink before attending my first gay bar. But drinking soon became enjoyable. I never considered myself an alcoholic, but I could drink till my friends fell asleep and still drive home. I shudder to think of it now. It was one way to avoid listening to the still small voice of the Holy Spirit that kept whispering to me.

As I would see things happening on the TV that reminded me that Jesus was coming back soon, my thoughts would turn to God and I would silently cry out for help, even though I didn’t know what to ask for, as I didn’t see any answers for my life. There were so many things I would have to give up, so many things I had become entangled in, that I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But as family and friends continued to pray for me, the voice of God’s Spirit became stronger and stronger, and I knew I had to do something to regain the peace I had lost. However, totally surrendering my life to Jesus was hard to do!

Politics of the gay lobby

The gay lobby in this country is alive and well. It teaches that homosexual sex is not a sin. They aggressively pursue their agenda to advance gay issues. Members of this group can find research — sometimes conducted by active gays — that yields the results they like. Consider this example. The Kinsey study into human sexuality in the 1950′s, as well as other studies, show gays comprise about 10% of the population. This is important to the gay lobby for political reasons because it makes homosexuals a significant minority group. You may have noticed gay activists still sometimes claim homosexuals comprise around 10% of all Americans.

Politics of the Christian Right

Another lobby, the Christian Right, is also alive and well. They believe homosexual sex is a sin. They actively pursue their agenda to advance their causes, one of which involves gay issues. This group also can find research that yields results they like. Back to our example. The Christian Right can find studies that show gays only comprise 1-2% of the population. Politically, this is very important to them. They love to emphasize how tiny and insignificant a group gays really are. This example of the proportion of gays in America illustrates how the topic of homosexuality is influenced by groups with a political agenda. I share this as a caution. Consider the source of information you encounter. I invite you to adopt my attitude on the real proportion of gays in our population: I don’t care. It makes no difference whatsoever if gays comprise 1% or 10% of all Americans. I only want to know the truth. I suspect the real figure is around 3% to 5%, but because of problems with the way this data has been gathered, I may be wrong. At this point, I don’t believe we can say for certain.